Sunday, March 3, 2013

The story of me, be alive and survive



I was born in the small village of Gunungkidul, a region in Yogyakarta, October, 23rd 1991. I didn’t come from rich family or in the high society class, my parents are farmer. At the first time I know that the condition of my life is different, I think that I should be different from another, I must be special in my own way.
In October, 23rd 1991, my mother with her power was getting bear the life, she was in the middle condition between alive or dead. I was born premature, all of my family was thinking that I would be dead, but thank’s God because I still alive until now, and get many experience in this special life.
My life starts from when I was just a little girl, in the Kindergarten I knew nothing, I didn’t know about the concept about life yet. Well, my childhood was not really interesting, moreover when I was in elementary school, Oh, I did not like this time. Six years that always be my bad life, I could not imagine myself if I should be coming back in that time. I didn’t like my life because everybody around me thought that I was a stupid girl, I did not know everything, poor girl, less sciences and I never get great point in school. I hated study because I was thinking at that time, “Study is about do homework, study about what I was get in the class, its lesson, and every day I always angry to myself because I’m stupid but no one want to help me to understand all about what should I know, and what should I do because I need their help, and they precisely laugh at me”. I remembered about the days when I was studying, my father or my mother teach me and when I did not understand the lesson, he or she would hit my head with ruler, not really hurt but from my deepest heart, it was getting hoist with own petard. I was crying and yeah… for now I can think that all of my long trip in this life is about how to survive and it is the one way of nature selection or something like self-selection. In this period, I did not have many friends but I promised to myself “I should become a good person, have many friends and people will know about who I am”
Let’s move… in the junior high school, I little bit changed, I makes new friend, always tried to study hard, and yeah, I found myself at that time, “I am a different person now” I said to myself, they appreciated me because I was great in English and I became candidate of the contest of “story telling”, I failed but it was fine, I knew I must be study harder. But in this stage, I did not really have a friend which calls girl; most of my friends were boy, so people knew me as a “tomboy”. I didn’t care because I should know who I am and this is my way to find myself and my life. But my experiences did not enough to prove people that I am intelligence, yes I’m not an intelligence person yet, but I will be…
I love my senior high school time, I really enjoy myself to be a girl that little bit popular in my school… Ha haa… I joined some organization in my school at SMA 2 Playen, Gunungkidul. It changed my life, I knew many people and people around me looked at me, they did not laugh anymore. I was feel like a star, there are some contest that my teachers wanted me to took that contests, and won, such as in sport, I ever won in sprint, takraw (a kind of sport which use a rattan as a ball), Jejak Kaki. In the another contest such as speech contest (failed) in Bahasa Indonesia but it became lesson for me, and debate in English (failed also), but no problem. I explored myself more and more, I wanted know what really I could do the best and became great person. I join as the young writer program from Balai Bahasa Yogyakarta, and in the end of the program I should write a piece of work, that was short story entitles “Dante La Forte” and it published also became first story in the book of anthology. Then I join community of Nature and scout (from scout, I joined Jambore and another activity which has relation with nature) It makes me proud. From this episode, I was happy because I knew I could do something and I found myself. I love poem, I love story and I love this life. MY LIFE IS MY WORLD AND MY WORLD MAKES ME ALIVE. It was my reason why I choose literature as my major to study, but took English literature should be have special reason.
I choose English literature because I think that have skill in communication with English language has good prospect and it will help me to know more about the culture of western, because I interests with that. But the special reason why I choose English is because I want to be a tour guide, so I think that I must be good enough in English.  I like traveling; I like to have new experience that people would think it wasting time and better to go to office and work in front of computer or something like that. But I can feel the sensation when I get the place that I want to go, I love it, I can see it how the nature actually the real teacher for me, and how the condition of life also the importance part of life to find myself, to be enjoyable and satisfied. I don’t want to be a silent person, but I think to alive I should do something, so I can call it as the human survival. I think till now, the knowledge that I have now, I can apply in my future dream, but I already try to practice it.
To get all I have now is easy?
NO. My parents at first forbid me to continue my study because they don’t have money to pay me, but it isn’t making me sad or stop my ambition. May be people will not believe that I can go so far or jump so high, because little Nia’s story, Nia is nothing, but later on, they will thinks NIA IS SOMETHING.
I said to my teacher that I want to continue my study in University  but I did not have money, I did not really smart but I have a dream and I should get my dream. I don’t want to be nothing but I want to be something, I should get my dream and I should prove people that I’m not a stupid girl as they said before. Thank’s God, I god scholarship so I can continue to university and it is UGM. My mother cry ma father don’t have idea about me but I promise them that I can do it and I will do it, I can survive and I will be alright. Then, for now here I am, still in the way I find me, find myself. I’m in the process of being something.
In my life, I learn many things, I love nature, I love people around me, I love everything to make me learn and feel different, but I hate loss of something that I care about, and I love it. I still ask to myself, “what I’m really searching for???” and “why and what for  I’m living???”. I will find it; I will answer all of my curiosity about this life.
To understand who I am, I always give challenge to myself because I like challenging. I like mountain, so I learn mountaineering, go to mountain to searching my respond and test my mental and physic. I like forest so I go to forest, I like cave and I do it, I love beach so I will go to the beach and feel the sensation, understand it, and learn what the life should be, how to protect myself, how to survive and everything that can I do to the life so I will alive. Be the bold one is my mission. Now I have many friends who always supports me and my parents always love me and said that they will always proud of me. Ha ha
My life will always new and I will say now “all up to me” or “SEMAU-NIA”

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